Attachment Styles

Do you find yourself feeling anxious in romantic relationships? Do you crave high levels of closeness and intimacy? Are you afraid when you sense someone pulling away? Do you fear being abandoned? Do your relationships feel consuming at times?

Or do you find yourself feeling avoidant in romantic relationships? Do you crave space and alone time? Are you afraid of losing your independence? Do you feel trapped and suffocated at times? Does emotional intimacy make you feel uncomfortable?

Or do you feel both anxious and avoidant in romantic relationships? Does all of the above apply to you? Do you additionally struggle to let your guard down and trust others? Are you terrified of being betrayed? Do you find yourself keeping an emotional distance from others, and often look for reasons to label someone as untrustworthy?

If you can relate to any of this, you might have an insecure attachment style.

There are four attachment styles:

  1. Secure

  2. Anxious Preoccupied

  3. Dismissive Avoidant

  4. Anxious Avoidant

If you don’t know what attachment style you have, you can find out by taking this free quiz created by Thais Gibson, the founder of Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory.

Your attachment style develops in your childhood, and can change throughout your adolescence and adulthood based on your life experiences. Your attachment style plays a significant role in the way you show up in relationships (including relationships with friends and family), as well as in relationship outcomes.

If you have an insecure attachment style, there is plenty of hope! The good news is you can reprogram your attachment style from insecure to secure. I love helping my clients identify their attachment styles. What I love even more is helping them understand why they have a particular attachment style.

Your needs and core emotional wounds play a big role in shaping and maintaining your attachment style. Throughout therapy, we will identify your unique needs, develop strategies for you to meet your needs in healthy ways, and help you effectively communicate your needs in relationships. We will also identify your core emotional wounds and reprogram the painful narratives around them. Reprogramming your attachment style will allow you to thrive in your relationships, but most importantly, it will allow you to thrive in your relationship with yourself.