Betrayal Trauma
If you’ve been betrayed by someone you trust, you may not know how to move forward. It’s hard to imagine trusting someone ever again. What even is trust? You may feel hopeless, alone, and disconnected from yourself, other people, and the world around you. Do you waver between feeling numb and rage? Is your body in a constant state of hypervigilance, scanning your surroundings for more threats of betrayal? Are you overwhelmed and triggered easily? Intrusive thoughts and images may be plaguing your mind. At times, you may even wish you could disappear or stop existing. When will you feel like yourself again?
Trauma happens when you experience a distressing event that you can’t properly emotionally process. Because the subconscious mind is wired for survival, it restructures itself around the traumatic experience in order to better protect you. In addition to your mind, trauma also manifests in your body - the stress hormones released by your brain put your body in a constant state of hypervigilance, or “survival mode,” in order to anticipate any looming threats in your surroundings.
One of the most common phrases I hear people with betrayal trauma say is, “I feel crazy.” You are not crazy. When someone breaks your trust, it can shake your entire reality, including the trust you have with yourself.
I seek to create a safe space in therapy, where you can begin to reconnect and rebuild trust with yourself. Reconnecting with your body will also be important. This process will involve sharing your story at your own pace, tuning into your unique needs and boundaries, and reprogramming the painful narratives that have developed around the emotional wound of betrayal.
Because betrayal trauma can lead you to feel disconnected and alone, cultivating a strong support system of family and friends is key in order to feel a sense of connection and belonging again. Surrounding yourself with people who have earned your trust will challenge the painful narrative that no one is trustworthy. The wound of betrayal is deep, but as Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”